Catching Up

Oh, the places I've been and the things I've seen!

Auditions for Diary of A Superfluous Man: I love holding auditions. As an actor, I always loathed auditioning. Whenever the audition counted for a damn thing, nerves consumed me. Whenever I didn't want the role, I was always relaxed enough to get it. It made for an irony filled career, if nothing else. But I love being on the other side of the table, particularly this time around, when there were more talented actors than there were roles. (So many, in fact, that I changed a character's gender to bring in one actress who I thought was too special to let go.) Auditions are my first chance to see what people can do with my work. Their readings suggest possibilities I hadn't considered, and give me a chance to think anew. I have high hopes that this play will succeed, and help expand my nascent empire.

The convention: I haven't had a chance to watch as much as I'd like. Hillary Clinton delivered a good speech, and Biden surprised me with his performance. I don't fall in love with politicians, but I like his brashness and energy in asserting his ideas, which, mostly, line up with mine. (I'm to the left of Biden, but that's okay. I'm to the left of everybody.) The whole thing seems about as good as a four-day infomercial where everybody's trying desperately hard not to fuck up has a right to be.

The Dark Knight: Bitterspice and I saw it this weekend. We both liked it, though I was slightly more enthusiastic. Neither of us loved it. I admired Heath Ledger's performance, even though it wasn't as iconic as the hype had led me to believe. I thought the acting across the board was strong, and the Joker's antics posed some interesting moral tests for Batman and company (tests they ended up failing, in many ways). That said, I found the ending unsatisfying (maybe the sequel will clear it up, but I don't think it's too much to ask, after 150 minutes, to get a satisfactory conclusion now), and I thought that Two-Face came and went way too quickly--unless of course they're planning him to have a Michael Meyers-esque comeback. I always thought that Two-Face, along with Mr. Freeze, were the most compelling, tragic, Sweeney Toddish Batman villians; why kill him off so easily, or even kill him at all?
I thought the movie was a success, not a triumph. And those who consider it the best movie of all time need to grow up and, along the way, see some of the best movies of all time.

A Brief Encounter With a Con Man

On my way back from auditioning actors for Diary of A Superfluous Man (and a fine collection of actors they were), I pulled into the left turn lane and stopped at the light. As I watched cars rumble through the crowded intersection, I heard someone shouting to my right. It was the guy in a huge black SUV next to me, calling for me to roll my window down. I did, and he told me a tale about some extra speakers he had for an expensive home theater system that he wanted to give me cheap because he "couldn't take them back to the shop." I said no. He pressed on with his pitch, his voice rising with almost-convincing urgency. I said no again. The light turned green, and I was gone.

I figured he was a con man, and that whatever speakers I'd have gotten would have fallen apart upon contact with Earth's atmosphere. What I didn't know was that this con has a specific name: The White-Van Speakers con. Fat Tony was right. Crime boasts a rich lexicon.

There's only one part I think the grifters flubbed. The con calls for them to prowl a high-traffic area for someone who looks flush with cash. I don't know what it was about me--the Costco clothing, the filthy ten-year old Nissan Sentra with a missing right turn signal--that screamed money to these guys, but I think they need to work out a better system for identifying their mark.

Isaac Hayes

It saddened me greatly to hear of Isaac Hayes's death. As a tribute, I've been playing his music here, and I watched his first appearance as Gandy Fitch in the Rockford Files episode "The Hammer of C Block". Wonderful stuff.

Dispensing Judgment

John Edwards has admitted to an affair that he'd previously denied having.

As a one-time supporter, do I feel betrayed? Hmm. Not really. After all, he never told me he wouldn't see other people. Do I think he should get a day or two of shit for having cheated on his wife? No doubt the moral guardians of the nation will hurl shit at him regardless of what I think. That's what society pays them for, when society isn't blowing its mad money on internet porn. I can hear them now, even though I'm deliberately avoiding cable news, "To think this man was almost President! A man who can lie to his wife about an affair can lie about anything!"

Actually, I think we can disprove that one. American history overflows with men who were respectable specimens in private, but lying reprobates in public. America has endured, just in the last half century, a pair of miserable sods who, as Presidents, lied about malfeasance, conspiracy, and fraud in the CIA, the FBI, the Justice Department, the IRS, the Department of Homeland Security, FEMA, the Pentagon, the NSC, the NSA, the Committee to Re-Elect the President, the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth, and the White House. Neither Richard Nixon nor George W. Bush approached a microphone during their respective presidencies without declaiming a dozen hand-crafted lies into it. George W. Bush has lied so profligately during the last eight years that, if he introduced himself to me right now, I'd demand three pieces of identification and a DNA sample. That said, to the best of my knowledge, neither Richard Nixon nor George W. Bush ever cheated on their wives. If asked about that, they could justifiably put up an indignant front and speak truthfully of their devotion to their spouses.

I've always taken it that a man who can lie about cheating on his wife is a man who's capable of lying about cheating on his wife. In this area alone can I assume his credibility is suspect. In other areas I try to assess his credibility by comparing his statements to reality, as I understand it. When John Edwards described the two Americas, he was describing something that matched my experience of how this country operates. When he told me the merits of his health plan, I gleaned from others who know more about the field than I do that Edwards knew what he was talking about. These statements and policies of his retain credibility, even though the man was a jackass where his marriage was concerned.

It's too bad that Edwards has damaged his reputation by lying about sex, because it allows stupid people to conclude that those lies negate everything of value the man has ever said. Ah, well. What's to be done?

The Original Maverick

I understand that John McCain has recently taken to touting himself in his advertisements as the "original Maverick". While a few who probably don't know any better have claimed that the original Maverick should, in fact, be Tom Cruise's character from a movie that helped finance one of Don Simpson's 1980s drug buys, the smarter of us all know that the original Maverick is the gentleman pictured above.

Parenthetically, Mr. Garner is now in poor health, but I'm willing to bet that, should he get a chance to vote, he'll vote for Obama.