Bush 2005 Desperation Tour

If Bush's foreign policy reminds me of a hyperactive toddler, Bush's Social Security pitch reminds me of a desperate guy who won't stop pestering a woman for a date. He's about to go on a sixty-day, sixty-stop tour to sell a plan nobody wants, a plan that becomes less attractive the more it's sold. Now I'd have thought he'd just cut his losses and give up, but the Iraq War has taught him one thing: if he just keeps stamping his foot and screaming eventually he'll wear us all down and we'll agree to give him what he wants.

Of course, it should be amusing to watch Bush abase himself. Maybe we can be cruel and make him do humiliating things. "We might consider your plan, Mr. Bush, if you eat this bucket of cockroaches." "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Bush, one of them scuttled away. Forget it. Although, we might reconsider, if you get naked, smear yourself with elephant dung, and run through Central Park yelling 'I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'" "Oh, I'm sorry. You jogged past the Public Theater. Forget it, smelly."