The Situation Room

Dear CNN,

Enough with lame names for newscasts. Jerry Bruckheimerizing your news set and giving it a name out of Air Force One is not going to sex up Wolf Blitzer. I don't watch a lot of cable news, and the reason I don't is its incessant need to punch up even the most trivial story with graphics and sample music and tricks. ANOTHER HOT BLONDE MISSING! Dun-dun-dun-DUNNNNN. Let's go LIVE to the SITUATION ROOM and watch WOLF BLITZER point at PHILIPS HIGH DEFINITION TVs! PHILIPS TVS! Dun-dun-dun-DUNNNNNNN!!!!!

Just sit behind the desk and read the news copy, jerks. Stop trying to turn the world into a Michael Bay movie. We get quite enough of that from Michael Bay.

Another bit of friendly advice from,

Your Uncle Jim